#Whatthehealth am I feeding my kids?! Five crucial revelations from the documentary.

 

With the onset of the new school year, and the return to packing lunches and planning meals for a household of busy family members I am always conscious of the food that I provide for my family. My goal is always to make sure my children get plenty of rest, a good nutritional breakfast before they head off to school, snacks if necessary and a good healthy lunch for those who prefer not to eat the lunch provided at their school.

I’ve always felt good about our health. Yes we could exercise more and eat less snacks during the day but I almost always buy organic vegetables and fruits, I rarely cook red meat (when I do its grass-fed beef )and only purchase organic poultry and wild caught fish. I don’t use sugar, only agave nectar or raw honey if I need a sweetener for tea, and almond milk is the only beverage other than water that you’ll find in my refrigerator. During holiday or other gatherings at my home, relatives and friends would joke about my organic version of soul food dishes and the lack of preservatives in the snacks I provided and I would laugh along and remind them that I would have the last laugh.

What the Health

Or so I thought until I stumbled upon What the Health on Netflix. I had been thinking about removing meat from my diet because I noticed that I experienced more inflammation and less energy when I ate meat. Yet I was also aware that I had to consider my growing teenage son and pre-teen daughter and I knew that carbs and protein were essential to their diet especially during the school year. I was convinced that meat was the best source of protein and bread/pasta the best carbohydrate. Boy was I wrong! I was stunned by the information revealed in this documentary. My uncle and grandfather both maintained their own backyard farms and my ancestors worked on Georgian farms most of their lives. I knew that the earth provided everything we needed to sustain us as human beings but after experiencing these five revelations watching both movies I realized that I needed to make another lifestyle change:

  1. Watching Food Inc. after this documentary confirms a lot of information that these industries are trying to conceal. The information in What the Health, even seeing the three health transformations in the movie, can seem extreme without watching the documentary Food Inc. It’s a totally unrelated documentary but for me it removed any doubt.
  2. Major food companies selling quick, overly processed and preserved foods are also contributing to the major health organizations that we trust to work towards our healing. The American Diabetes Association, The American Cancer Society and other major health organizations that we rely on to provide the best health and dieting resources are all financially supported by companies that produce unhealthy foods.
  3. Diabetes is an insurmountable health crisis; the fact that it disproportionately affects African-Americans can be directly related to food choice and availability of affordable, fresh foods in the urban communities. I myself visited the same “Fresh” supermarket in both a suburban and urban neighborhood and found mold and partially rotted vegetables in the urban supermarket and the price of the same vegetable was more expensive.
  4. Vegetarian and Vegan eating is the ultimate goal, but can’t be achieved overnight. It’s not just a diet change, it’s a mindset. I eat fairly well, but it is a process and if you go into it with the idea of transitioning and not beating yourself up when you eat a processed food or a meat, you will have more success. Give yourself a timeline and work with a nutritionist or health consultant to create meal plans and shopping lists to help you transition. I was inspired by The Healthconscious Diva’s Facebook live and blog posts. Her customized meal plans and shopping lists are reasonable and in her videos shows you how to prepare some of the dishes.
  5. Don’t beat yourself up after watching the movie. The information hit me like a gut-punch and as a parent I felt a bit of guilt for the food choices I’ve made in the past; driving through the fast food lane to get to a baseball practice in time or the countless amount of hot dogs and ice cream eaten during their early growth years. The information is bold and un-apologetic and yes promotes the vegan lifestyle encouraging the masses to increase the amount of food consumed from the earth and generally make better food choices. Reducing the amount of sugar you use and/or making a decision to remove fast food from your diet is progress. Purchasing organic meats or meat and produce from local farmers is much better for your health than not.

It’s progress not perfection. Give yourself time to transition to a more healthy lifestyle and if you have not yet watched the movie I strongly suggest you watch it. Watch with an open mind and consider your own family’s health issues and then make the changes large or small to guarantee you will be around to watch your great-grandchildren dance!

I’d love to hear what you thought about one or both movies!

 

Maintaining family traditions; stability in a world that often isn’t.

holding-hands-1My son and daughter are five years apart. My favorite picture of the two of them was taken the day my daughter was born. My son had taken a big brother class at the hospital and understood that she would look up to him and follow him as the older sibling. The first time they met, she gazed up into his eyes and I’m so grateful my sister-in-law captured it on film. He loved being my helper, getting her diaper or toys when I asked and I tried to give him all of the quality time I could when she was napping or down for the night.

Even after the separation, as a solo parent I would still be conscious of the attention that she naturally received as the baby of the family. I made sure they were treated equally regarding chores and rules and would let him stay up to watch television or play a game with me after I tucked her in at night. What I refer to as our night-time snuggle hour (it was cute then, not so much now that he’s a teenager) is a tradition now and even though he won’t admit it, I know he looks forward to it at least once or twice a week. Now that my son is a teenager and my daughter a tween, both are going through emotional and physical changes which naturally distances them. As an introvert, he spends a lot of time in his room and she commands my time and all of the rest of the space in the house with her creative endeavors. I understand that they need the space to develop in their own way but I have to admit it’s been difficult as a parent watching powerless, as age difference, school and puberty send them to their separate corners of the world.

I must admit I had given up on our family rituals. Running a household, business and caring for two school aged children is more than a full-time job. I’m usually ready to go to bed before they do, and I felt that they had grown out of our summer vacations, back to school gifts, end of school dinner celebration, church service (twice a month if we can), midnight or early morning movies in our pajamas, Friday pizza and movie nights and other traditions until recently. For the first time in close to a year we watched a movie together last night sharing pizza and the same couch! I almost always order pizza and this past year I would be the only one sitting on the couch watching the movie or most likely it would be just my daughter and I. Last night was different. I ordered the pizza and made plans to go out to a local fundraiser when I expected the kids would be retired to their rooms; but as usual when I make plans, God laughs! After the pizza was demolished I turned on The Dark Knight and invited my son to sit and watch it with me. Years ago he was fascinated by all of the Marvel and DC Comics but gave it up when he got the message from peers that enjoying action figures was childish. I walked out of the room and was floored when I saw him actually reclining on the couch waiting for me. My daughter, not to be outdone fought for her spot on the couch too. I had to play referee once or twice but we watched the entire movie together as a family. I was waiting for them both the bail mid-movie but they didn’t. I silently apologized to my conscience for missing the fundraiser so I could be present, enjoying the snuggle and bonding time with my children instead. I went to bed hopeful and determined to slowly reinstate the not so typical family traditions that we have created over the years. At a time when so much in their lives is changing, the ability to rely on mom’s sometimes quirky traditions offers the nurturing and stability they so desperately need. I am aware that every night may not have a fairy tale ending and that traditions may continue to be tested, yet I remain encouraged. Pizza and move night was a reminder that consistency is important and not to give up until the miracle happens.

What are some of the non-traditional traditions that bring your family together? Feel free to share in the comments below or email us at africanamericanparenting@gmail.com.

~African American Parenting

The Daddy Daughter Dance; it’s not just a party it’s an investment in her emotional well being.

TODAY, June 17th is the eighth annual Daddy Daughter Dance. It takes place again this year in Philadelphia at the Hilton Hotel  from 6-pm. The event started as the idea of the founder of Daddy UniverseCity who recognized the significance of the bond between father and daughter. With all of the bullying, school stress and social media influence in our young girls lives our daughters can easily fall victim to anxiety, depression, school suspension and low self-esteem without a strong father or father figure for support.

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Educator caught on tape belittling a young female student

I volunteer every year not just to support DaddyUniverseCity and their vision to support and educate fathers, but because of the beautiful stories that I see walking through the door. I’ve seen fathers with disabled daughters, grandfathers attending with their daughter and granddaughter, men with infants and diaper bags on their shoulder and young girls dancing with their little feet on top of their father’s for guidance. I’ve seen tears in the eyes of grown men and grown women alike and it’s obvious that it’s the first time they have spent this type of quality time with their father or child. There is not simply music, good food and tiaras but there is genuine healing of families and relationships happening after the tickets are purchased and the couples are seated. I see it in their eyes, I hear the conversations and feedback as they pour out of the ballroom drenched with joy. I am always filled with hope and fulfillment and while I wish I had the chance to attend once with my own Dad, I am ever so grateful that my daughter is sitting at the table every year with hers.

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The event started eight years ago with 50, last year over 500 were in attendance. If you don’t have your ticket, there may still be time but I wouldn’t wait much longer. Miracles are waiting.

www.dance8.eventbrite.com

Oh yes and Happy Father’s Day!

 

 

Fatherhood advice via new website for Daddy University

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Re-post of the January 8, 2017 article about Daddy University, a Fatherhood support resource, in the Philadelphia Tribune:

The leadership team at Daddy University has started off the new year with a brand new website to help guide fathers of all ages through parenthood.

Located at daddyuniv.com, the website offers a baby supplies checklist for new fathers, legal information and a place for fathers to share their story of challenge or triumph.

While the website is new, the male parenting education company Daddy University has helped fathers in the Philadelphia area since 2004.

For eight months out of the year, fathers come to the West Philadelphia YMCA to meet with President and CEO Joel Austin and discuss topics ranging from how to communicate with a rebellious teen to how to braid their daughter’s hair.

Austin, a father of four, was inspired to create Daddy University after taking his eldest son to a Big Brother/Big Sister class at a nearby hospital. While hospital staff taught his son how to change a diaper and help out mom and dad, Austin realized he needed to take notes too.

“I am now the head of my household, and the only one who has had no training in taking care of children,” Austin said. “Even my five-year old has had a better class than me.”

He decided enough was enough. First, Austin started researching lessons on childcare online. Most of his results were from maternity websites. Next, he and co-founder Edward McGee started meeting with focus groups. After those took off in popularity, Austin and McGee then launched the Fathers Club with a full class curriculum.

“It’s not about fatherhood over motherhood, it’s about having two educated parents to raise a child,” Austin said.

In the past, people have joined the Fathers Club through word-of-mouth or recommendations from social services. Attendance ranges from 50 to 100 people, from teen fathers to grandparents caring for their grandchildren.

One of the first lessons Austin teaches is personal responsibility. Instead of referring to the child’s mother by name, he tells the men in his class to use the phrase, “the woman I chose.” Austin also teaches parents how to communicate with their children. His solution-based lessons help parents create more time between reacting and responding to an issue.

“The biggest problem I have in my class is that many of my men are not taught conflict resolution,” Austin said. “The thing is, everybody can actually win.”

The Fathers Club classes cover the time between a child is born to adulthood. With his oldest children in their early 20’s, Austin says he doesn’t believe in 18 being the magic number.

“So you were dumb at 17-and-a-half, but for some reason at 18 you’re supposed to be given this miraculous gift from the heavens of knowledge?” he said. “Instead, he works with parents to develop an exit strategy so children can be successful after they leave the home.

“None of them are raising children,” Austin added. “They are raising somebody’s future husband, wife, mother or father.”

Other than weekly classes, Daddy University also offers a fatherhood conference, young male Conference, mother and son dance and a daddy and daughter dance. The daddy and daughter dance takes the form of a debutante ball, and ticket sales help fund Daddy University. About 50 people showed up to the first dance. Seven years later, more than 650 fathers took their daughters to dance.

“We didn’t realize that a lot of adult women would be bringing their dads as well,” Austin said. “Now, the ages of the event are three years old all the way up to 60 or 70.”

With the website now active, the leaders at Daddy University are now looking towards advocacy for parenting rights and expanding the Fathers Club to the South Philadelphia YMCA. Austin plans to continue guiding dads in parenthood.

“I want people to have fun with parenting,” he said. “Crawl on the floor as much as you can.”

Information and ways to donate to Daddy University are available online at daddyuniv.com.

mearls@phillytrib.com

(215) 893-5732

Ben and Jerry’s Support for the #BlackLivesMatter movement. 

Thank you #BenandJerrys for doing the right thing! Be the change you want to see in the world. 

“We want to be clear: we believe that saying Black lives matter is not to say that the lives of those who serve in the law enforcement community don’t. We respect and value the commitment to our communities that those in law enforcement make, and we respect the value of every one of their lives.

But we do believe that — whether Black, brown, white, or blue — our nation and our very way of life is dependent on the principle of all people being served equal justice under the law. And it’s clear, the effects of the criminal justice system are not color blind.”

Read the entire statement from Ben and Jerry’s here:

http://www.benjerry.com/whats-new/why-black-lives-matter

June 25TH National Fatherhood Conference, Rescheduled – Philadelphia, PA

 

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Update: The Fatherhood Conference had to be rescheduled due to issues with the venue, but it is on and upgraded this Saturday! There will be prizes such as laptops given away for fathers and young men. Please come out 9am-3pm!

This is the eleventh year that Joel Austin, the founder of Daddy University has traveled throughout the city of Philadelphia from radio station to television interview, blog interview and social networking gatherings to convey his passion for combating fatherlessness and supporting men who desire to be the best Fathers their children need. There is an epidemic of fatherlessness in our communities which can be traced back to slavery, and is exacerbated by today’s judicial system that unfairly targets and prosecutes African-American men at an alarming rate. According to the NAACP Criminal Fact Sheet, one in six African-American men are in prison compared to 1 in 100 African American women.

We need our men. We need our men to be great leaders, providers and fathers. When previously incarcerated fathers are released into society, who is there to help them reconnect with their offspring? When young men become fathers and have no male figure in their lives, who will guide them and support them? When our husbands, sons and grandchildren need resources to help them learn good parenting and or/co-parenting skills, where will they go to seek help? The National Fatherhood Conference  is the answer.

This FREE conference held in the Philadelphia School District Education Center, 440 North Broad Street, Philadelphia PA in addition to free breakfast and lunch, provides numerous workshops on everything from custody to co-parenting, financial literacy, and even how to do your daughter’s hair. There is also LIMITED free childcare for those who register early, and a Young Men’s Conference for those who bring their sons between the age of 11 and 18. The Young Men’s Conference runs the same time as the Fatherhood Conference and they will also be provided breakfast and lunch if they register. The time to reach our young men is now, before they fall victim to the school to prison pipeline. Even if you are not a father or for some reason are not attending the conference, you can still register a young man and bring him to attend. The Young Men’s workshops include but are not limited to entrepreneurship, resolving conflict and dealing with “haters” as well as hygiene and financial literacy.

You can find out more information on the flyers above and below this post and by visiting the 11th National Fatherhood Conference registration page. African American Parenting will be in attendance and will post a picture of you and your child on our Facebook post to show all of the wonderful fathers and father figures in attendance. Register today and let us  applaud you for your desire to be the best father your child deserves!

Register Here —-> National Fatherhood Conference

We’ll see you at the Conference!

Young Men Conference

Technology Addiction: Are you a bad influence?

Cellphone-DistractionI have to admit. I jump in the car and drive off because I’m running late to pick up one of the kids from somewhere and as soon as my seat belt is across my waist, I reach over into my pocketbook for my mobile phone. It’s become an instinctual yet love-hate relationship with my phone. I have been tempted on several occasions when I’ve left it inside the house attached to my fast-charging cord, to turn the car around and go back for it. What if the school calls? What if someone is trying to text me? What if one of my family members is ill and trying to reach me? What if I have an accident and no way to dial 911? How would I have answered these questions before I had a smart phone? I guess that’s why we had pagers!

If I am about to go for a long drive I will go back and get it. One day recently I didn’t go far but planned on being out for a few hours running errands and decided I could live without it. I then realized how dependent we are on our mobile devices. Believe it or not , I did survive but like the days after you’ve ended a love affair, I felt like something important was missing from my daily routine and I thought about my mobile phone often. Wondering if it was plugged up or if I left it on in my bedroom with the battery slowly draining. I worried about what condition it would be in when I returned. I would reach for it every now and then. I realized how much I depended on it for directions and instead had to rely on my memory. I wanted to use my mobile app to purchase coffee and set up my grocery list, and after a few moments and a small internal tantrum I went to the ATM and took out cash to purchase my chai latte, then found a pencil and paper to make my grocery list. Before I knew it I had been running errands for over three hours and had not relied on my mobile phone for anything! I was proud of myself. I did notice just how attached I was to my mobile phone especially since most banking institutions make it so much easier to purchase and even deposit through phone applications. Everybody has an app, and it has created a mobile dependent society.

My day around town without my phone taught me just how dependent I was on this small piece of technology. I realized that even at home I find myself often saying to one of my children when they want my attention “just wait one second, I just have to send this text” or “I’ll be right there after I finish this email” , or “get in bed and I’ll be up in a minute” as I return to see who that last Facebook notification was from. The minute usually turns into five then ten and the next thing I know my daughter has read herself to sleep. Yet and still I justify it because I am self-employed and I “have to rely on my phone” to keep me abreast of what’s going on with the social media accounts for my business and to respond quickly to my client’s email or phone message. I need my phone to update my calendar with an event that I saw on Facebook, twitter or text. I justify it and it keeps me oblivious to the control it has on my time and my quality time with my family. It wasn’t until I read this article at Common Sense Media that I realized that it wasn’t just the kids who needed to set limits on the time they spend in front of a little screen, but so did I.

My children are allowed one hour of screen time per day, and if they want more screen time, they have to read and/or do some form of physical activity that matches the amount of time they want to watch videos or play on the XBox. This rule is usually met with attitude but it works!

For myself, I’ve instituted a “you don’t play until you’re done work” policy for social media. I check it first thing in the morning and I am limited to 15 minutes liking, sharing and tweeting, another half an hour watching my favorite Periscope motivators and then it’s off the phone until I get my work done for the day. The phone gets put away again between the hours of 6-8pm when I am spending time making dinner, checking in with the kids and getting them ready for bed. I keep the phone in another room, and set it to announce calls so that I can choose to answer or ignore depending on who is calling. Any calls/texts I receive I will return after the children go up to bed.

This is the first step. I have to be honest and say that some days I just want to zone out and escape into the phone (literally!) when life and parenting etc. gets to be overwhelming! However, I am making a conscious effort to be aware of the wall I put up between myself and my children (and my spouse/partner) when I am obsessed with technology.

Check out the chart below and see if you think it represents your family. If it does, you may want to put yourself in time out.

Technology Addiction: Finding Balance

Are you the bad influence in your family? We’d love to hear from you and how you set limits on technology (if any) in your home.

~African American Parenting